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Telegraph pole out yer ead

I was talking with some students about Spanish wedding traditions. Amongst other things they told me that it's usual for the photographer to take the bride and groom off to some local beauty spot to take a couple of romantic snaps.

This morning I'd stopped by the little cove of Cala Cortina on my way back from a bit of in house teaching for a crafty fag. An old Peugeot drew up and a bloke got out who seemed to be having trouble with the waistband and flies of his trousers. Next was a plumpish young woman dressed in her finery. It took a while for the bride to emerge from the back of the car. She complained about the comfort of the stockings she was apparently wearing beneath her meringue like wedding dress. Her husband wore a very creased long tailed two tone beige suit.

The trouser trouble bloke was the photographer. He carefully arranged the Happy Couple in front of the handrail just beside the litter bin with the sea in the background. The groom was scratching his balls. I feared for the result.


  1. best one i ever saw was on the beach in sta pola; when james and vanessa's pixie was a smally. she made a bee-line for a beautiful bride, up to her knees in the swell, and wouldn't get out of the shot. they had to adopt her. we were all debating, were the shots pre-wedding (as normal) if so, how the hell were they going to resusitate the dress!!


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